


Edward Sand

by takerur



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Adventure, Edward Elric Is A Little Shit, Edward is Oberyn's bastard son, Gen, Humor, Oberyn Martell Lives, Oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-17 20:13:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28854891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/takerur/pseuds/takerur
Summary: Edward Sand wasn't a normal Dornish bastard. He had glistening blonde hair, light skin that never tanned underneath the harsh sunlight, and piercing golden eyes. If people didn't know any better, they would believe him to be a Lannister. But no, he was a Martell, the son of the Viper.
Relationships: Edward Elric & Oberyn Martell, Edward Elric & Tyrion Lannister
Comments: 1
Kudos: 32





	Edward Sand

**_Edward Sand_ **

* * *

Oberyn didn't expect to be pulled away from his morning tryst and into Doran's room this particular morning. He didn't really do much that warranted Doran to speak to him, so maybe something happened in the kingdom.

And he really didn't expect a young boy with Lannister coloring to be in the solar with Doran, so Oberyn's eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"And who is our guest here, Doran? A Lannister to finally give us the head of the Mountain and Amory Lorch?"

It was wishful thinking, but he just said it to goad at the Lannister-looking boy.

However, the boy gave an unimpressed stare, seemingly undisturbed by what the Viper said.

"Who the fuck is the Mountain? That's such a stupid name." The boy replied.

Oberyn blinked. So maybe this boy _wasn't_ a Lannister. Not having his daily fill of sexual release and wine made him impatient sometimes and today was such a day.

"This is Edward, Oberyn. He has told me that he is your bastard," Doran looked toward the boy with natural skepticism.

Oberyn meanwhile blinked in confusion.

Doran shook his head in exasperation. "I would never think you would sleep with a woman with blonde hair, after what happened with the Lannisters."

Oberyn was still speechless.

"She gave me this to show you," Edward said as he held up a pendant that he took out from his breast pocket. "Apparently you gave this to her." The pendant proudly displayed the Martell House's Crest.

"Well, I'll say… I do remember giving that to a woman that I have slept with before. I don't quite remember where."

The blonde boy shrugged. "My mother on an island with only females live. After smoking some weird herbs together you two apparently slept together. Deal with it."

At that descriptions, Oberyn blinked and finally rubbed his head in a bit of embarrassment.

"Ah yes, I do remember Helena from the Isle of Women. It was quite an interesting island and your mother was a fierce woman. She and her friends almost killed me when I stepped foot on it. I'm quite surprised that she didn't send me a letter sooner about my son."

"Well I didn't even know I had a shitty fucking father until I turned eleven and my mom died and the islanders shipped me off in a boat to find my own way."

"Forgive me, but how do I know if you are truly my son? I remember your mother's golden hair and eyes but I would expect for you have some of my coloring."

The boy shrugged. "She said to show you my skills with the spear. She said that will convince you."

.

Oberyn didn't doubt the boy much after their bout that ended with the Viper sitting on the ground and his 'son' holding the tip of his spear against his neck.

The Prince of Dorne couldn't say that he ever expected to have an almost fully grown son, but he felt pretty pleased to have a son with such skills.

Edward merely looked bored and retreated for several days into the library where he met the Martell's Maester.

.

"I'm going to Oldtown."

Oberyn looked up from his soft pillow away from his paramour's soft embrace to see his bastard starting down at him and all ready to leave for a journey right away.

"Uhh… Edward, can we have this conversation another time? What time is it anyway?" Oberyn couldn't see the sunlight coming through the window yet.

The blonde boy of fifteen namedays shrugged. "Sometime before the ship for Oldtown leaves. I just came to say goodbye."

"Wait, wait," Oberyn jumped up, seemingly just understanding what Edward said to him. "You're going to Oldtown _today?"_

"Yup."

"W-what? You can't do that?!"

"Really?" Edward's brow went up. "I heard that you didn't even warn anyone and just left a letter before you went on your travels. I thought that I would at least be a bit less of an asshole compared to you and let you know I'm leaving in person."

Oberyn looked taken aback for a bit before composing himself.

"Why are you even going to Oldtown?"

"I read all the books in the library here. The maester said that there are more books in Oldtown than in any other library in the country."

The Viper blinked. He did hear about his son being studious but not to this extent. Oberyn didn't think anyone could read the whole Martell Library in 4 years.

"So are you going to be a Maester? If you want to do something like that you need to have consulted me and your uncle first."

"Why the fuck would I want to be surrounded with old coots for the rest of my life? I should let you know, I enjoy the company of women more than men."

Oberyn stared at his son but quickly started laughing. Edward was definitely his son.

"Make sure to write back home often then, Ed," the father said with a smile and rubbing the top of Edward's hair gingerly.

Ed scowled in return as he forcefully removed his father's hand from his head. "I'll write as often as you did on your travels."

.

"So I come back from my travels and then see you deciding to protect a Lannister—a name that you said you would _never_ associate with. What the hell am I looking at right now?"

When the young snarky voice rang out behind the cell doors, Tyrion quickly flicked his head to the speaker. The person who stared back at him was a tall, lean man with Lannister-golden hair with golden looking eyes.

"And who are you, good sir?" the Lannister asked

"Bah, forget about the boy who doesn't even want to say pleasantries to his father before mocking him. _So_ happy to see you too, Edward," Oberyn said with a smirk.

Meanwhile, Edward rolled his eyes. "Oh, how I've missed you _so much_ Father. It's just as if it was yesterday when I saw a wrinkle on your face but now I see a dozen of them. And is that gray hair that I see?"

"You can't even see anything in these cells! I don't have gray hair!" Oberyn gasped mockingly. "Anyways, it is actually quite nice to see you Edward. Didn't you say that you would write?"

The blonde shrugged. "You sent maybe one every year during your own travels. I don't think you can expect anything more from me."

Tyrion looked at this father-son banter with a shocked expression.

"This is your _son?_ I thought you, of all people, would never sleep with a woman with blonde hair."

"Essosi drugs do a bit more than you would expect, Lord Tyrion." Oberyn said while ruffling his hair a little. "But yes, this is my son Edward Sand. He's been in Oldtown for the past four years."

"Pleasure to meet you. Not a pleasure to meet you in these cells, however. What did you do, kill the king?" Edward asked jokingly.

Tyrion couldn't hide the small frown on his face.

"Hey, hey I don't care if you did it or not, but I just came down to say my pleasantries and let you know that I am going to be your champion." The golden-haired boy gave a confidant smile to the Lannister.

"What?"

"WHAT?"

Two surprised voices rang out in the cell, with various tones of shock.

"I am going to be your champion."

"But your father—"

"I think you should leave the fighting to me, Lord Tyrion. If those are wrinkles that I see on my father's face, imagine what is happening to all his muscles with all the Dornish Red he drinks."

"Hey!" The Viper exclaimed with an insulted look. "I will let you know that I am perfectly healthy and strong."

"Forget him, Lord Tyrion. When I saw him for the first time and told him that my spear skills will convince him that I am his son, he lost against me because of his hubris. And from then on he held a grudge for _years_. Seriously, what kind of grown-up has a grudge on his then eleven-namedays son?"

Edward ignored the stink-eye that his father gave him.

"So what do you say?"

.

Just like his father, Edward was flashy and showy with his spear skills. The Mountain struggled to get a single hit on the Dornish bastard as he was as swift as a snake and as vicious as a sandstorm. Or wait, was it the other way around?

Edward shrugged. It didn't really matter as he enjoyed the audience booing him while he was thoroughly beating up this beast-in-human-disguise Lannister dog. And when the Mountain finally fell, the blonde made sure to cut off his head for good measure.

From the corner of his eyes, he saw his father looking proudly at him and—were those tears on his eyes? He will definitely make fun of him later but this was a time for some celebration from the Martells.

"Edward, maybe it is a good idea to leave before the Lannister guards gets here and tries to arrest us for other charges."

"What other charges?"

Tyrion shrugged. "They like to make things up."

Edward shrugged back. "But they'll have to defeat me first."

.

Tyrion stared, amazed at the scores of Lannister soldiers scattered all around Edward who didn't even look winded. And also at the way the ground magically trapped all of them underneath the ground after Edward scratched some geometry shapes onto the ground with his spear and placed his hand on it.

"Was that magic?" The dwarf asked with amazement.

"Magic? Fuck no. This is _science_ , Lord Tyrion. Alchemy, to be exact."

"How can this be alchemy though? It was almost instantaneous."

"As long as you can understand equivalent exchange, alchemy symbols, and the other logistical aspects of alchemy, a person can attempt alchemy. However, it does not mean that everyone can do it."

"That is amazing, would you be able to teach me?"

Edward shrugged. "If you are willing to follow me through my journeys, I can teach you. I am not planning to stay in Westeros much longer."

"And leave the effects of destruction on your father and uncle? How devious."

"If they couldn't take care of it, House Martell would have fallen a long time ago."

The Lannister nodded in agreement. And then he smirked.

"I've always wondered how the whores were in Essos."

.

When Edward and Tyrion heard the news about the Targaryen queen taking her Dothraki horsemen and dragons to conquer Westeros, they ignored it and continued their preparation to travel to Valyria.

"I just want to research what caused the Doom," Edward said as he and Tyrion said goodbye to their acquaintances in Essos. "Ah, send this letter to my father, if you will? He's becoming an old coot and would probably send an army if he hears that I went to Valyria."

And they sailed toward the destroyed continent, excited to see what kind of adventure was out there for them.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed the short oneshot!


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